Hey Everyone,
Just checking in. Healing is going very well. Since I've last updated swelling has continued to come down everyday. On about 10 days post-op I finally started to feel like I could stand up straight, which makes walking much easier. For those who haven't read, I was experiencing quite a bit of tightness in my pubic region due to the pubic lift incision. I'll explain more about that in a post I intend to do about the pubic lift (aka mons resection) which by the way I am very happy with so far. On the subject of walking, slowly I'm able to have my legs a little closer together which is also making walking easier.
To summarize, at this point getting in and out of bed is no problem at all and has been quite easy all ready for at least a few days, and walking is also pretty easy. I still look kind of funny walking, but at this point it isn't painful, though if I do a lot of walking then toward the end of the day I do usually experience some slight aching in the testicle area.
Sitting is still the thing that sucks. lol There's no other way to put it. Granted, it has got a lot easier to sit up but to do it for long periods of time is tough. Last Tuesday (8 days post-op), I went to my local Transgender Support Group and brought a fluffy pillow to sit on and sat for about 2 hours. Then we stood outside talking for a while. Then some of us decided to go get milkshakes so we did that and sat on stools at Johnny Rockets because that's all that was open. That was really tough. And at the time walking was still pretty hard so by the end of it I was extremely tired.
Wednesday, Thursday, and Friday (9-11days post-op) I decided to go check out the LGBT films from the Providence Film Festival going on. Again I brought a big pillow and each night I sat for about 2-3 hours. It was very uncomfortable. I wouldn't say painful, just very uncomfortable. Lots of adjusting was in order. It mostly hurts my butt more than anything because of the way I have to sit so that I'm not sitting on the testicles. So at the end of every night my butt was pretty sore, yes. This weekend (12-13 days post-op) I just felt like I needed to relax, although today I'm kind of bored so my friend is picking me up to hang at her house in a little while.
I have one area that seems to be healing much slower than the rest. The area under the penis where it meets the body and is right against the top of the testicles. I'm assuming it's healing slower because it doesn't get as much air as the rest of it and it's hard to really keep that area dry. But it does seem to be getting better everyday. The doctor told me to wash the whole surgical site with antibacterial soap twice a day, keep applying the bacitracin ointment, and just give it time to heal.
Oh another thing that's been going on with healing, I am pretty much a hypochondriac. lol So then I have surgery and it becomes way worse. I'm constantly worrying if everything is healing okay. I have called my surgeons office and e-mailed him pictures with new crazy things I'm worried about multiple times. And him and his office always get back to me promptly and always telling me I'm doing just fine and not to worry. I really just can't wait until all of the incisions are fully healed so I can stop worrying about them. I just really care about my body, especially this new penis, and I want to make sure everything is healthy. But thank God for a understanding surgeon who keeps assuring me everything looks like it's healing fine. I think that's important that our line of communication is open and he responds quickly because it can be a scary thing to have surgery far away from home. Then to be healing at home so far from your surgeon, it's nice that him and his office are great.
Everything still looks fantastic. I'm still very happy with how everything is going so far. Probably my chief complain at the moment is the weird sensations I have around the pubic lift incision line. Above the line there are spots where the sensation is dulled and that feels weird; below the incision line, basically where my pubic hair grows above my penis, is super sensitive. Therefore, when I'm home, I spend a lot of time naked with a laptop tray over my penis and a blanket over the laptop tray so that nothing touches the area. The weird sensations definitely get better each day. Some days are worse than others. The doctor said this is normal and to just give everything time to settle down. I wasn't too concerned about it. I had similar experiences on the skin of my chest after chest surgery and now the sensation on my chest is very normal all over.
Well that's basically where I'm at now. I'll be sure to update in a few days about healing. I would also soon like to write the following posts: "Why I Chose My Surgeon" and "All About My Pubic Lift" so stay tuned for those.
****Edited: Last night, I went to go watch a meteor shower at a local beach with a friend. And for the first time, I had a moment where I was standing and I didn't notice the testicles. lol Like before this point, it has always felt like I've had two bowling balls between my legs. For the first time, yesterday I didn't even notice them. Kind of like getting a new facial piercing (for those of you who have every had one), you can feel it there very apparent for a while but eventually it doesn't even phase you. It's just nice with the testicles because I was starting on some level to feel like it was never going to feel normal to stand/walk again. lol But obviously it will, it will just take some getting used to. And before I know it, I wont even notice them there unless I think about them.
Showing posts with label cleaning. Show all posts
Showing posts with label cleaning. Show all posts
Sunday, August 11, 2013
Wednesday, August 7, 2013
Feelings Post-Op (emotionally)
Feelings! Sorry I wanted to write this nicely so I was waiting for at least most of the fog to clear from anesthesia and post-op pain medicine etc. But I'm finally writing my "feelings" blog post!
Okay, for one, I'm happy. That's an understatement. lol I mean I still have a long way to go with healing but right now, considering I'm only 9 days post-op I look fantastic and pain is pretty much gone at this point it's more just sometimes uncomfortable and I get very tired really easy because my body is still healing. I can't really touch it all that much at this point, you know other then cleaning it which needs to be done very thorough but also very gentle. There's no man-handling it yet obviously but just it's just great. lol The little bit of touching I can do, and looking in the mirror, it's wonderful. Let me sort of explain from the start what it was like after surgery up until this point.
I woke up out of surgery, so out of it it's not even funny. Shortly after waking up in the recovery room, they showed me my penis. I was definitely glad it was there and everything. It looked nice, but I was really high and couldn't see the balls because everything was very swollen and I couldn't bend forward at all. So as you might have read in my surgery experience post, I think the first thing I said was "Are the balls in there?" lmao And the nurse confirmed that "Yes, there are two testicle implants." lol I left soon after and my friends took me to my hotel room. I got a better look at things in the full length mirror. Granted, everything was a mess, swollen like crazy, bruising, stitches, bleeding all over, and I was really nervous because I'm scared of blood and have a weak stomach for all that kind of stuff when it's on my own body. lol But I looked in the mirror and even though it was messy, I was very impressed with the general shape of things. Didn't take much time to look at it though, because I was very out of it still and needed rest. So it was more of an acknowledgment that, okay, everything seems to be in place, great, I am going to put this gauze back on and not think about all of this blood. lol
Day 1, once I was a full 24 hours post-op, that was it. By that point almost everything had stopped bleeding so it was game on! I still could barely bend forward so I grabbed the digital camera and took a bunch of pictures of things from various angles so that I could really catch a glimpse of things. Now that is when I was really impressed with things! I was like heck ya! lol Again it was still really swollen but I couldn't believe how good it all ready looked. It was kind of shocking. It was a surreal moment. I remember just thinking over and over, "Oh my god, I have a dick!" It was like I needed someone to pinch me because it was hard to believe this was finally real.
I'm honestly, slightly scared saying this stuff because I don't want to jinx anything so ::knock on wood:: since I still have a lot of healing left to do. Things will change over time, but at this point, man, I just feel so lucky to have results looking this good and so early on. I took some pictures farther away from me, that included more of my whole body, and it was just so amazing because I really have a totally physically male body. My chest is beautiful. My body is beautiful. My penis is beautiful. As beautiful as a hairy man-body and a penis can be, that is. But in my eyes, it's so beautiful. It's unbelievable really. I had many moments so in disbelief and so proud of how amazing I look. Every so often while using the bathroom I caught glimpses of myself in the mirror and was so pleasantly surprised every time.
So then the Doctors orders were to start washing the area with warm soapy water once a day after I was 24 hours post-op. My friend had to help me, and by help I mean I stood in the shower scared of the water touching it and clutching onto the safety railing, while she did all the cleaning. lol But this showering and drying up experience was my first time parading around without the jockstrap on (or any other clothes for that matter). And I remember taking a step and feeling the slight vibration of my penis bounce just a little bit! haha Again I was pleasantly surprised. It was a new experience that shocked me but at the same time made me so happy. It was a really cool feeling to finally have genitals being so exposed and free outside of my body! lol
And after she washed my penis and I dried off, I sponge bathed the rest of my body (I couldn't get my drain tube wet so couldn't take a real shower for 4 days). And what I'm about to say might be to much info but I promised I would tell all, so here it goes. I was sponge bathing my butt and looking back into the mirror while I was doing it. And I saw my balls hanging down under my butt! haha again I was surprised but so happy because it was a very different view from that angle back when I was pre-op. I love how masculine the view is now. lol
So that first cleaning experience was really amazing. Seeing my body from all sorts of different angles. It was like an exploration. lol Like I was finally discovering my body. And I can't even put into words how happy it made me feel.
I guess I was so surprised because it was all just so new. A trans friend recently said we have in our mind how we want our body to be, but we're so used to not having it for so long, when it finally happens, it's just so hard to believe its true.
I think it was also such a shock because I went into it with low expectations. I knew the risks that I was taking aesthetically. Not all lower surgeries turn out the same. Everyone's body is different. You just have to to find a surgeon who seems to work well with people of your body type, and who uses a technique that you feel comfortable having done on your body. Then you take a big huge chance and hope for the best. I took that chance. So far, I'm thrilled. I had a lot of concerns going in. Scared of bad positioning of the penis (either too low on the body or too hidden by scrotal skin), or scared of it being poorly shaped, scared of the balls being too high up, or scared of it still looking like I have a vagina. lol No seriously, I think that was my biggest fear. I was scared I was going to wake up, look at it, and it was still going to look like a vagina.... But it doesn't. Not at all. I feel like once the stitches are out and I can actually stand up and walk normally (lol) that I could stand naked in a men's dressing room and while my penis is very small, I don't think anyone would have any question of whether or not I have a penis. As I said many times pre-op, I'm totally okay with people thinking I have a small penis. I'm not okay with people thinking I have a vagina. I don't have to worry about that anymore. I have this awesome beautiful cute little package and I feel like this huge weight has been lifted off of my shoulders. Like I can finally breathe! Like I can finally walk naked and stand in the mirror and be proud of what I see. It's a wonderful, wonderful feeling. I have the overwhelming feeling that my small penis and I are going to do just fine in this world. haha I still haven't ruled out phalloplasty somewhere down the line, but for now, I feel a million times better than I did before. I finally feel comfortable.
One last experience on the topic of feelings that I want to share. Now mind you, that first 5 days I was way too scared to touch anything down there. There was literally a time when I was taking off the jockstrap so Lauren could put my antibiotic ointment on and my hand accidentally brushed up against the penis. I screamed "Oh my god! I just touched it. Is it okay?" lol I had penis-paranoia. I was so scared to hurt it. lol So Lauren basically took care of it for me, putting the ointment on 3 times a day and rinsing it with hot soapy water. The only time I touched it was after I urinated I would dab the area gently with a baby wipe. There was this one brave moment, a few days post-op, where I gently touched the head of my penis to test sensation. There is excellent sensation, by the way! lol (So add that to the list of things I'm happy about.) But otherwise I did very little touching. So Saturday morning at 5 days post-op when I took my first real shower, after the drain had been removed, I was instructed to really wash my penis. And it was kind of amazing. It was my first time really touching it all of it, skin on skin, without gloves or baby wipes. Just my wet soapy hands on my junk. lol And it was really cool to feel it all. To hold it (very gently!) But it was just another one of those moments where I was ecstatic!
So I think that's enough about me explicitly describing how I've discovered myself since surgery. lol I'm going to let myself heal up for a month or so and give you an update on how I'm feeling about everything. I can't wait to take this thing for a test run. I know it works because another lovely thing that happened in that shower..... so I'm over there very gently washing it, touching it nicely.
Penis: COMMENCING ERECTION.
Me: NOOOOO1
lol it only got semi-hard before the pain set in and it stopped. So it was fine. And hey, it was nice to know that function works. I'm eager to see how hard it gets and what not. But I'm definitely going to let everything fully heal before I go down that street. lol
By the way, day 9 healing today, everything seems to be going well. I haven't taken any pain meds today except for Motrin so yay! And I'm going to a LGBT film festival tonight which I'm excited about. Totally unrelated, but just wanted everyone to know that, yes, I'm very capable of doing things. I just get tired very quickly, oh and I still walk like a cowboy. lol Though I'm still not driving but I'm in no rush to. I'm sure I could if I really needed to, now that I'm off of the pain medicine.
Anyways, thanks for reading. I hope you found it helpful or amusing or whatever feeling you were hoping it would make you feel. lol I'll write again soon!
Okay, for one, I'm happy. That's an understatement. lol I mean I still have a long way to go with healing but right now, considering I'm only 9 days post-op I look fantastic and pain is pretty much gone at this point it's more just sometimes uncomfortable and I get very tired really easy because my body is still healing. I can't really touch it all that much at this point, you know other then cleaning it which needs to be done very thorough but also very gentle. There's no man-handling it yet obviously but just it's just great. lol The little bit of touching I can do, and looking in the mirror, it's wonderful. Let me sort of explain from the start what it was like after surgery up until this point.
I woke up out of surgery, so out of it it's not even funny. Shortly after waking up in the recovery room, they showed me my penis. I was definitely glad it was there and everything. It looked nice, but I was really high and couldn't see the balls because everything was very swollen and I couldn't bend forward at all. So as you might have read in my surgery experience post, I think the first thing I said was "Are the balls in there?" lmao And the nurse confirmed that "Yes, there are two testicle implants." lol I left soon after and my friends took me to my hotel room. I got a better look at things in the full length mirror. Granted, everything was a mess, swollen like crazy, bruising, stitches, bleeding all over, and I was really nervous because I'm scared of blood and have a weak stomach for all that kind of stuff when it's on my own body. lol But I looked in the mirror and even though it was messy, I was very impressed with the general shape of things. Didn't take much time to look at it though, because I was very out of it still and needed rest. So it was more of an acknowledgment that, okay, everything seems to be in place, great, I am going to put this gauze back on and not think about all of this blood. lol
Day 1, once I was a full 24 hours post-op, that was it. By that point almost everything had stopped bleeding so it was game on! I still could barely bend forward so I grabbed the digital camera and took a bunch of pictures of things from various angles so that I could really catch a glimpse of things. Now that is when I was really impressed with things! I was like heck ya! lol Again it was still really swollen but I couldn't believe how good it all ready looked. It was kind of shocking. It was a surreal moment. I remember just thinking over and over, "Oh my god, I have a dick!" It was like I needed someone to pinch me because it was hard to believe this was finally real.
I'm honestly, slightly scared saying this stuff because I don't want to jinx anything so ::knock on wood:: since I still have a lot of healing left to do. Things will change over time, but at this point, man, I just feel so lucky to have results looking this good and so early on. I took some pictures farther away from me, that included more of my whole body, and it was just so amazing because I really have a totally physically male body. My chest is beautiful. My body is beautiful. My penis is beautiful. As beautiful as a hairy man-body and a penis can be, that is. But in my eyes, it's so beautiful. It's unbelievable really. I had many moments so in disbelief and so proud of how amazing I look. Every so often while using the bathroom I caught glimpses of myself in the mirror and was so pleasantly surprised every time.
So then the Doctors orders were to start washing the area with warm soapy water once a day after I was 24 hours post-op. My friend had to help me, and by help I mean I stood in the shower scared of the water touching it and clutching onto the safety railing, while she did all the cleaning. lol But this showering and drying up experience was my first time parading around without the jockstrap on (or any other clothes for that matter). And I remember taking a step and feeling the slight vibration of my penis bounce just a little bit! haha Again I was pleasantly surprised. It was a new experience that shocked me but at the same time made me so happy. It was a really cool feeling to finally have genitals being so exposed and free outside of my body! lol
And after she washed my penis and I dried off, I sponge bathed the rest of my body (I couldn't get my drain tube wet so couldn't take a real shower for 4 days). And what I'm about to say might be to much info but I promised I would tell all, so here it goes. I was sponge bathing my butt and looking back into the mirror while I was doing it. And I saw my balls hanging down under my butt! haha again I was surprised but so happy because it was a very different view from that angle back when I was pre-op. I love how masculine the view is now. lol
So that first cleaning experience was really amazing. Seeing my body from all sorts of different angles. It was like an exploration. lol Like I was finally discovering my body. And I can't even put into words how happy it made me feel.
I guess I was so surprised because it was all just so new. A trans friend recently said we have in our mind how we want our body to be, but we're so used to not having it for so long, when it finally happens, it's just so hard to believe its true.
I think it was also such a shock because I went into it with low expectations. I knew the risks that I was taking aesthetically. Not all lower surgeries turn out the same. Everyone's body is different. You just have to to find a surgeon who seems to work well with people of your body type, and who uses a technique that you feel comfortable having done on your body. Then you take a big huge chance and hope for the best. I took that chance. So far, I'm thrilled. I had a lot of concerns going in. Scared of bad positioning of the penis (either too low on the body or too hidden by scrotal skin), or scared of it being poorly shaped, scared of the balls being too high up, or scared of it still looking like I have a vagina. lol No seriously, I think that was my biggest fear. I was scared I was going to wake up, look at it, and it was still going to look like a vagina.... But it doesn't. Not at all. I feel like once the stitches are out and I can actually stand up and walk normally (lol) that I could stand naked in a men's dressing room and while my penis is very small, I don't think anyone would have any question of whether or not I have a penis. As I said many times pre-op, I'm totally okay with people thinking I have a small penis. I'm not okay with people thinking I have a vagina. I don't have to worry about that anymore. I have this awesome beautiful cute little package and I feel like this huge weight has been lifted off of my shoulders. Like I can finally breathe! Like I can finally walk naked and stand in the mirror and be proud of what I see. It's a wonderful, wonderful feeling. I have the overwhelming feeling that my small penis and I are going to do just fine in this world. haha I still haven't ruled out phalloplasty somewhere down the line, but for now, I feel a million times better than I did before. I finally feel comfortable.
One last experience on the topic of feelings that I want to share. Now mind you, that first 5 days I was way too scared to touch anything down there. There was literally a time when I was taking off the jockstrap so Lauren could put my antibiotic ointment on and my hand accidentally brushed up against the penis. I screamed "Oh my god! I just touched it. Is it okay?" lol I had penis-paranoia. I was so scared to hurt it. lol So Lauren basically took care of it for me, putting the ointment on 3 times a day and rinsing it with hot soapy water. The only time I touched it was after I urinated I would dab the area gently with a baby wipe. There was this one brave moment, a few days post-op, where I gently touched the head of my penis to test sensation. There is excellent sensation, by the way! lol (So add that to the list of things I'm happy about.) But otherwise I did very little touching. So Saturday morning at 5 days post-op when I took my first real shower, after the drain had been removed, I was instructed to really wash my penis. And it was kind of amazing. It was my first time really touching it all of it, skin on skin, without gloves or baby wipes. Just my wet soapy hands on my junk. lol And it was really cool to feel it all. To hold it (very gently!) But it was just another one of those moments where I was ecstatic!
So I think that's enough about me explicitly describing how I've discovered myself since surgery. lol I'm going to let myself heal up for a month or so and give you an update on how I'm feeling about everything. I can't wait to take this thing for a test run. I know it works because another lovely thing that happened in that shower..... so I'm over there very gently washing it, touching it nicely.
Penis: COMMENCING ERECTION.
Me: NOOOOO1
lol it only got semi-hard before the pain set in and it stopped. So it was fine. And hey, it was nice to know that function works. I'm eager to see how hard it gets and what not. But I'm definitely going to let everything fully heal before I go down that street. lol
By the way, day 9 healing today, everything seems to be going well. I haven't taken any pain meds today except for Motrin so yay! And I'm going to a LGBT film festival tonight which I'm excited about. Totally unrelated, but just wanted everyone to know that, yes, I'm very capable of doing things. I just get tired very quickly, oh and I still walk like a cowboy. lol Though I'm still not driving but I'm in no rush to. I'm sure I could if I really needed to, now that I'm off of the pain medicine.
Anyways, thanks for reading. I hope you found it helpful or amusing or whatever feeling you were hoping it would make you feel. lol I'll write again soon!
Sunday, August 4, 2013
Healing Experiences (Day 4, 5, & 6 post-op)
Hey All,
I know I said I would update first about my feelings but I decided to do this post on healing days 4,5, & 6 just because I ended up going longer then expected without updating. So I definitely wanted to update about healing experience first but don't worry because a feelings post will be up next. I might even do it tonight after I take my
Healing is going extremely well! ::knock on wood:: lol But I can't complain so far. Everyday things look a little better and feel a little better. I have had achy painful moments but nothing that the meds and ice packs can't take away. Currently at day 6, I've drastically cut back on the percocets and mostly am only taking Motrin (ibuprofen) and icing frequently. So I'd say I'm doing pretty good. Pain seems to be pretty connected to how much I do. If I walk around too much, my balls are quick to let me know that I'm walking to much because they start to ache. The biggest thing I notice is I tire easily, which isn't so surprising since I did just have surgery 6 days ago. But ya, if getting tired easily is my chief complaint I'd say I'm doing fantastic. But anyways let me give you more details of how the last three days have gone and exactly what has happened.
Day 4 post-op (August 2, 2013) - I had my first (and last) post-op appointment. Dr. Medalie wasn't going to be in the office this day and I was scheduled to see him Monday but he told me before surgery he believed it was likely I'd be ready to have the drain out and go home by Friday so he wanted me see his nurse practitioner Andrea. So I saw her Friday morning. Very nice lady by the way! Super nice, let me talk her ear off about my penis, as I love to do these days. She checked it out, said that it is looking great. Since hardly anything was coming out of my drain tube anymore she took it out. She just snipped the stitch and took out the drain. It didn't hurt at all! I was nervous for her to take it out but literally she was like "Are you ready?" and then was like "Okay, it's out." I didn't even feel it. I was in disbelief. lol With the drain out I had the okay to start showering in a real shower and be able to get my whole body wet, yay! She told me that now that I can shower I needed to start washing my penis a little more thoroughly. The biggest thing she stressed was that I was the creases around the base of my penis. There's lots of swelling all around the penis so there's some areas that weren't really being washed by the warm soapy water rinses. She suggest in the shower I take the antibacterial liquid dial and get my hands all soapy and just gently wash the area. And rather then pushing the penis to the side to get around the edges of the base she suggesting pushing gently down on the surrounding tissues of the penis to allow me to clean the base of the penis. I was very scared about washing my penis fully (it turned out fine, you'll read about it on day 5 lol). she also gave me a script for 800 mg ibuprofen every 8 hours and she suggested I cut back on the percocet to just when I feel like I need a pill between the doses of ibuprofen. She said the ibuprofen should help with swelling too which it really has. So drain came out, everything looked good, and I was free to leave Cleveland whenever.
But we stayed one night because after my doctors appointment we went to the Cleveland park zoo!!! I highly recommend it. lol We got me a wheelchair. I put a big comfy pillow on the wheel chair and this wheel chair was way more comfortable then the one they had at the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame. My friend pushed me around and we had a good time. We stayed for almost 3 hours but then the zoo was closing. Then we grabbed food at CiCi's Pizza. Finally, I went to the hotel and I was exhausted!!!
I was so exhausted that I didn't even take the shower that I had been dying for. lol My friends packed up all my stuff and the plan was for us to leave in the morning.
Day 5 post-op (August 3, 2013) - Woke up bright and early and finally took that much needed shower. Washing my penis was really not bad. There was nothing to be scared of. Gently washing with warm soapy hands in the shower was fine and actually made everything feel a lot better. That hot shower on my pubic lift incision was helpful too. I feel liek it just relaxed all of my tense muscles. It was beyond refreshing.Also this was the first time I really got to touch my penis and testicles. I mean I you know would dab it with a wet wipe after peeing and my hand would sometimes graze it while adjusting my jockstrap after using the bathroom. But this was the first time really touching it. I had to touch it very gently obviously. But it was awesome, feeling this little package in my hand. It was just another one of those "whoa, this is real moments" where I was overflowing with joy. And I just felt so good after that shower. While I showered my friends packed the car. No heavy lifting for a couple weeks for me. Then I went to the front desk and told them I was checking out a couple nights early. I wanted to see if I could get any money back. I had been receiving a special rate for staying a full week so I wasn't sure if they were going to be able to refund me anything but I figured I'd give it a try. And they were able to refund me one night back! I had to pay for the full 7 days since I recieved the special weekly rate of $56 a night but they were able to refund me the 8th night so they credited the $56 plus taxes back onto my card. Woot woot!
Then we embarked on your journey back to Massachusetts. Only one of my friends with me has a license so Lauren had to drive the whole way home while Kendra kept her company. I on the other hand made myself comfortable in the back seat. I had 3 big comfy pillows. I laid down on my back with one pillow under my butt and two behind my neck and head. I kept the middle seat belt on loosely around my stomach just in case. I left my legs either bent, criss-crossed, or occasionally put them up one on the back of the back seat and the other on top of the door's window edge. and I was actually very very comfy! I was nervous it was going to be a terrible ride but it was actually great. I had a cooler on the side of me with ice packs and drinks. Plus I had some snacks so that I could eat every time I needed to take my pain meds and anti-biotics. I also had my phone and my friend's Nintendo 3DS with a bunch of games. So I kept myself entertained and also took a lot of naps. It was very nice in the car actually. I found it very soothing.
We did decide to stop at Niagara Fall while we were in upstate New York. We just made a short stop, checked out the fall (They were beautiful!), took a bunch of pictures, hit up the gift shop, and went home. They were all out of wheelchairs for rent at the visitors center so I had to do some walking. A little more then I would have liked to because the closest parking lot was full so I would say we had to walk roughly 2-3 blocks to get to the visitors center and then the falls viewing area wasn't too far from there. But it was still tough. It was hot out and I was walking slow. I was uncomfortable. My testicles started to ache and my body started to feel weak. As I mentioned, I get tired very fast since surgery. So once we got back to the car it was time to take more pain meds, I put an ice pack on my genitals, and then once it was time to take the ice off I knocked out for a while. My friends said I slept well, I was snoring loudly. I believe it because I'm not kidding when I say I was really comfortable. lol But anyways, Niagara was totally worth the stop.
We finally got home about 13 hours later. My parents greeted us outside. My friends and parents unloaded the car. I said my good byes to my friends and came inside. Another friend came over and spent the night. She helped me out. When I was applying my last antibiotic ointment treatment for the night she pointed out that a spot was a lot darker than the rest. And I, who am ridiculously paranoid became really scared so I took pictures and e-mailed them to Dr. Medalie. I didn't think it was life threatening so I decided to let the poor guy sleep and I'd call the office in the morning. Then I got comfortable in my bed and relaxed for a few hours watching TV and talking to my friend. Although the hotel was super nice, it's always much better being home. :-]
***Edited: I can't believe I forgot to mention my Mom decorated my room with "It's a boy" decorations and balloons! lol So I had that when I walked into my room. I got a kick out of it! lol
Day 6 post-op (August 4, 2013) - Woke up early. I was not in any pain which is good because I'd gone a long time without any of the percocets. Currently I'm doing like my nurse said, I take the Ibuprofen 800 mg every 8 hours and I don't take the percocets until I start getting pain bad enough that ice for 20 minutes can't fix.
After about an hour of being awake I gave Dr. Medalie's office a call. It's a Sunday so the office is closed but I spoke with the on-call doctor. Described what was going on with my penis, the spot that seemed really dark, and he asked me if I was having fever, chills, or any signs of infection. I was not, so he said there probably wasn't anything he could do over the phone but that Dr. Medalie was coming in soon and would tell him to take a look at the e-mail. Dr. Medalie e-mailed me very promptly letting me know that everything looks like it's healing just fine. He also said not to focus on any specific spots. He said there was going to be lots of swelling and bruising for several weeks. So he put my mind at ease. It also made me feel really comfortable knowing that even on a Sunday if I needed to talk to someone about concerns I could. And to have him check out the pictures as soon as he got to the work was also reassuring I really do feel like I'm in good hands with Dr. Medalie and all of his staff.
Since then I've just been hanging around relaxing in bed. On the computer and watching tv. also eating and i'm about to either play some video games or take a nap when I'm done with my blog. The pain is even better today. Every day it really does look and feel better.
Mom is buying a cheap shower matt for the shower floor so I don't slip. When she gets home I'm going to take a shower. I'm looking forward to that. Showers are so nice. Mmmm. They really make all the surgery sites feel so much better. Plus they relax me.
I'm still taking antibiotics 4 times a day. Still applying antibiotic ointment 3 times a day. And washing with antibacterial liquid soap once a day. Percocets only as needed trying to use it as less as possible. And ibuprofen every 8 hours.
So far that's it for today. If anything worth mentioning comes up in the rest of the day, I'll update the end of this post. As usual, feel free to shoot me any questions!
I know I said I would update first about my feelings but I decided to do this post on healing days 4,5, & 6 just because I ended up going longer then expected without updating. So I definitely wanted to update about healing experience first but don't worry because a feelings post will be up next. I might even do it tonight after I take my
Healing is going extremely well! ::knock on wood:: lol But I can't complain so far. Everyday things look a little better and feel a little better. I have had achy painful moments but nothing that the meds and ice packs can't take away. Currently at day 6, I've drastically cut back on the percocets and mostly am only taking Motrin (ibuprofen) and icing frequently. So I'd say I'm doing pretty good. Pain seems to be pretty connected to how much I do. If I walk around too much, my balls are quick to let me know that I'm walking to much because they start to ache. The biggest thing I notice is I tire easily, which isn't so surprising since I did just have surgery 6 days ago. But ya, if getting tired easily is my chief complaint I'd say I'm doing fantastic. But anyways let me give you more details of how the last three days have gone and exactly what has happened.
Day 4 post-op (August 2, 2013) - I had my first (and last) post-op appointment. Dr. Medalie wasn't going to be in the office this day and I was scheduled to see him Monday but he told me before surgery he believed it was likely I'd be ready to have the drain out and go home by Friday so he wanted me see his nurse practitioner Andrea. So I saw her Friday morning. Very nice lady by the way! Super nice, let me talk her ear off about my penis, as I love to do these days. She checked it out, said that it is looking great. Since hardly anything was coming out of my drain tube anymore she took it out. She just snipped the stitch and took out the drain. It didn't hurt at all! I was nervous for her to take it out but literally she was like "Are you ready?" and then was like "Okay, it's out." I didn't even feel it. I was in disbelief. lol With the drain out I had the okay to start showering in a real shower and be able to get my whole body wet, yay! She told me that now that I can shower I needed to start washing my penis a little more thoroughly. The biggest thing she stressed was that I was the creases around the base of my penis. There's lots of swelling all around the penis so there's some areas that weren't really being washed by the warm soapy water rinses. She suggest in the shower I take the antibacterial liquid dial and get my hands all soapy and just gently wash the area. And rather then pushing the penis to the side to get around the edges of the base she suggesting pushing gently down on the surrounding tissues of the penis to allow me to clean the base of the penis. I was very scared about washing my penis fully (it turned out fine, you'll read about it on day 5 lol). she also gave me a script for 800 mg ibuprofen every 8 hours and she suggested I cut back on the percocet to just when I feel like I need a pill between the doses of ibuprofen. She said the ibuprofen should help with swelling too which it really has. So drain came out, everything looked good, and I was free to leave Cleveland whenever.
But we stayed one night because after my doctors appointment we went to the Cleveland park zoo!!! I highly recommend it. lol We got me a wheelchair. I put a big comfy pillow on the wheel chair and this wheel chair was way more comfortable then the one they had at the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame. My friend pushed me around and we had a good time. We stayed for almost 3 hours but then the zoo was closing. Then we grabbed food at CiCi's Pizza. Finally, I went to the hotel and I was exhausted!!!
I was so exhausted that I didn't even take the shower that I had been dying for. lol My friends packed up all my stuff and the plan was for us to leave in the morning.
Day 5 post-op (August 3, 2013) - Woke up bright and early and finally took that much needed shower. Washing my penis was really not bad. There was nothing to be scared of. Gently washing with warm soapy hands in the shower was fine and actually made everything feel a lot better. That hot shower on my pubic lift incision was helpful too. I feel liek it just relaxed all of my tense muscles. It was beyond refreshing.Also this was the first time I really got to touch my penis and testicles. I mean I you know would dab it with a wet wipe after peeing and my hand would sometimes graze it while adjusting my jockstrap after using the bathroom. But this was the first time really touching it. I had to touch it very gently obviously. But it was awesome, feeling this little package in my hand. It was just another one of those "whoa, this is real moments" where I was overflowing with joy. And I just felt so good after that shower. While I showered my friends packed the car. No heavy lifting for a couple weeks for me. Then I went to the front desk and told them I was checking out a couple nights early. I wanted to see if I could get any money back. I had been receiving a special rate for staying a full week so I wasn't sure if they were going to be able to refund me anything but I figured I'd give it a try. And they were able to refund me one night back! I had to pay for the full 7 days since I recieved the special weekly rate of $56 a night but they were able to refund me the 8th night so they credited the $56 plus taxes back onto my card. Woot woot!
Then we embarked on your journey back to Massachusetts. Only one of my friends with me has a license so Lauren had to drive the whole way home while Kendra kept her company. I on the other hand made myself comfortable in the back seat. I had 3 big comfy pillows. I laid down on my back with one pillow under my butt and two behind my neck and head. I kept the middle seat belt on loosely around my stomach just in case. I left my legs either bent, criss-crossed, or occasionally put them up one on the back of the back seat and the other on top of the door's window edge. and I was actually very very comfy! I was nervous it was going to be a terrible ride but it was actually great. I had a cooler on the side of me with ice packs and drinks. Plus I had some snacks so that I could eat every time I needed to take my pain meds and anti-biotics. I also had my phone and my friend's Nintendo 3DS with a bunch of games. So I kept myself entertained and also took a lot of naps. It was very nice in the car actually. I found it very soothing.
We did decide to stop at Niagara Fall while we were in upstate New York. We just made a short stop, checked out the fall (They were beautiful!), took a bunch of pictures, hit up the gift shop, and went home. They were all out of wheelchairs for rent at the visitors center so I had to do some walking. A little more then I would have liked to because the closest parking lot was full so I would say we had to walk roughly 2-3 blocks to get to the visitors center and then the falls viewing area wasn't too far from there. But it was still tough. It was hot out and I was walking slow. I was uncomfortable. My testicles started to ache and my body started to feel weak. As I mentioned, I get tired very fast since surgery. So once we got back to the car it was time to take more pain meds, I put an ice pack on my genitals, and then once it was time to take the ice off I knocked out for a while. My friends said I slept well, I was snoring loudly. I believe it because I'm not kidding when I say I was really comfortable. lol But anyways, Niagara was totally worth the stop.
We finally got home about 13 hours later. My parents greeted us outside. My friends and parents unloaded the car. I said my good byes to my friends and came inside. Another friend came over and spent the night. She helped me out. When I was applying my last antibiotic ointment treatment for the night she pointed out that a spot was a lot darker than the rest. And I, who am ridiculously paranoid became really scared so I took pictures and e-mailed them to Dr. Medalie. I didn't think it was life threatening so I decided to let the poor guy sleep and I'd call the office in the morning. Then I got comfortable in my bed and relaxed for a few hours watching TV and talking to my friend. Although the hotel was super nice, it's always much better being home. :-]
***Edited: I can't believe I forgot to mention my Mom decorated my room with "It's a boy" decorations and balloons! lol So I had that when I walked into my room. I got a kick out of it! lol
Day 6 post-op (August 4, 2013) - Woke up early. I was not in any pain which is good because I'd gone a long time without any of the percocets. Currently I'm doing like my nurse said, I take the Ibuprofen 800 mg every 8 hours and I don't take the percocets until I start getting pain bad enough that ice for 20 minutes can't fix.
After about an hour of being awake I gave Dr. Medalie's office a call. It's a Sunday so the office is closed but I spoke with the on-call doctor. Described what was going on with my penis, the spot that seemed really dark, and he asked me if I was having fever, chills, or any signs of infection. I was not, so he said there probably wasn't anything he could do over the phone but that Dr. Medalie was coming in soon and would tell him to take a look at the e-mail. Dr. Medalie e-mailed me very promptly letting me know that everything looks like it's healing just fine. He also said not to focus on any specific spots. He said there was going to be lots of swelling and bruising for several weeks. So he put my mind at ease. It also made me feel really comfortable knowing that even on a Sunday if I needed to talk to someone about concerns I could. And to have him check out the pictures as soon as he got to the work was also reassuring I really do feel like I'm in good hands with Dr. Medalie and all of his staff.
Since then I've just been hanging around relaxing in bed. On the computer and watching tv. also eating and i'm about to either play some video games or take a nap when I'm done with my blog. The pain is even better today. Every day it really does look and feel better.
Mom is buying a cheap shower matt for the shower floor so I don't slip. When she gets home I'm going to take a shower. I'm looking forward to that. Showers are so nice. Mmmm. They really make all the surgery sites feel so much better. Plus they relax me.
I'm still taking antibiotics 4 times a day. Still applying antibiotic ointment 3 times a day. And washing with antibacterial liquid soap once a day. Percocets only as needed trying to use it as less as possible. And ibuprofen every 8 hours.
So far that's it for today. If anything worth mentioning comes up in the rest of the day, I'll update the end of this post. As usual, feel free to shoot me any questions!
Thursday, August 1, 2013
Post-Op Care
Hey Everyone,
So I'm at a little past 3 days post-op! In this blog post I'm going to talk about what I (and my friends) needed to do for post-op care these first three days.
The things I need to do are not really that hard...in theory. lol It's a short pretty simple list but you're about to read what it's like to actually carry these things out. lol
Medications -
Pills
I have my pain medication which I take every 4 hours. Then I have antibiotics that I need to take with food 4 times a day for the first 7 days post-op. Luckily, no problems with nausea from the pain meds or diarrhea from the antibiotics which are two symptoms I was told were very possible. The pain meds have however given me some serious constipation. I took over the counter Milk of Magnesia and that helped things along some but it still was not easy. lol Remembering to take the pills I needed a lot of help with the first day because I had such terrible memory from the anesthesia. After that first day I set timers in my phone for when to take my pills but my friends still made sure to remind me, especially about the antibiotic.
Ointments
They asked me to get Bacitracin and apply it to all the stitched areas 3 times a day. I can't even fully see the stitched areas without a mirror so my friend Lauren had to help me with that. I would sort of sit (mostly leaning back) on the edge of my bed and she'd use gloves and apply the medicated ointment to all the areas that have stitches showing. These areas were each testicle and the underside of my penis from the base to the tip. There are stitches up across the incision where the pubic lift was but this area is covered with steri-strips and does not need to have medication placed on it. I was pretty scared about letting her touch my stitches but she went gentle and honestly it didn't hurt at all.
Cleaning -
Mandatory Cleaning (doctors orders)
After I urinate I have to take an UNSCENTED baby wipe and dab the area; no wiping! just dabbing. And because of swelling when I pee urine just goes like everywhere lol (thighs, butt cheeks, all over the testicles and sometimes the top of the toilet seat) so I usually have to wipe my thighs and butt with the baby wipes after dabbing the genital area gently. After any bowl movement I also need to clean it with a baby wipe very carefully not to get any germs on my genital area.
My one a day cleaning I was told to start 24 hours after surgery. So after I was 24 hours post-op we had our first washing. I was very scared of this. lol I was dreading it the whole first day. But it wasn't bad. He wanted me to basically just wash the area with warm antibacterial soapy water. They recommended liquid dial gentle antibacterial soap. They said realistically I probably wasn't going to be able to get off all the dried blood and what not right away and they told me not to worry about that. Basically my friend Lauren took over and cleaned me each time. I really didn't realize how much I was going to need help after surgery and I'm not sure my friends knew what they were in for either. lol I knew they were gonna end up seeing me naked but I didn't realize how up close and personal things were going to get. lol But thank god, Lauren took over because I was too scared to do much down there. Basically I would stand in the shower and she would run the tub water warm, take a cup, fill it with the warm water, add the dial mix it up and make it all sudsy. Then she'd take that water and pour it all over my penis and testicles careful not to get my drain incision wet because that can't get wet at all. So she'd fill the cup a few times with soap and water pouring it over me genital area. Then she'd do it a few times just with warm water to get the soap off and that was it. all done! Nothing to be scared of. But I was scared every single time. lol Then I'd get out of the tub and use a towel to kinda carefully dry my thighs and use a guaze pad to very gently pat try my penis and balls.
Non-Mandatory Cleaning (stuff I did just to not feel gross)
I didn't "need" to do the following things but I did them because they made me feel not so gross. I am unable to shower until the drain is out so I wanted to at least clean up. I bought CVS brand cloths to sponge bathe myself. You throw the whole package in the microwave and it warms them up. You wipe your body down with it and let it dry. It leaves you feeling clean and soft and smelling kind of like baby powder. It's not necessary but honestly they're cheap and it just makes me feel better. Comfort is nice when you're healing.
I also had my friend Kendra wash my hair in the sink on Wednesday. lol We were going out and I didn't want my hair to look greasy so I had her wash it for me. I had to get in a very strange position to get my head in the sink since leaning forward at the waste is hard/painful right now but we managed and I looked nice and felt nice.
Emptying Drain -
There is one drain. I'm pretty sure he only uses a drain on his metoidioplasties if you have a pubic lift which I had therefore I have a drain. The drain is off the right directly on the side of the horizontal incision from the pubic lift. During the first 24 hours post-op the drain needed to be emptied and recorded every 4 hours minimum. You have to do it more often I think if it becomes half full. Mine never became more than half full so Lauren emptied my drain every 4 hours during that first night and day. To empty a drain you basically have to "milk" the tube pushing all of the fluid from the tube into the end receptacle which looks like one of those children's juice's "Teeny Drinks." It's the same type of drain that most top surgeons use. One all the fluid is pushed into the receptacle then you have to squeeze all the fluids/blood into a measuring cup, then you record how much was in there. Lauren did this for me the first two days. Third day (today) I was doing it on my own. After the first 24 hours it only needs to be done twice a day (more if you reach 1/3 full I believe is the rule) but after the first 24 hours I had an extremely small amount of fluid coming out so we've only had to empty it twice a day. By the way, I'm going to my first post-op appointment tomorrow (Friday, 4 days post-op) and my surgeon's nurse is going to check if the drain is ready to come out. Once the drain is out I can technically go home. But I have a really long drive so even if it comes out tomorrow we're not going to leave just yet. If the drain stays in, then I have another appointment Monday and he said by Monday it will definitely be ready to come out. He was pretty confident that it'd be out by Friday though and with such little stuff coming out I'm thinking it will be out by then. That will be super nice because that means I'll be able to take a real shower yay!!!
Ice -
They didn't say it was mandatory but they encouraged it (20 minutes on and 20 minutes off, as often as needed and always make sure there is cloths between the ice pack and the skin) and let me tell you, god it helps so much! I usually hate to use ice packs on any sort of injuries but I'm tell you ice packs have been tremendously amazing. If I'm aching, I put an ice pack on and in a few minutes the pain is gone. Mmmm ice packs! If you have this surgery get lots of soft flexible ice packs. I have two plus one they gave me at the hospital. I keep them in the little freezer of the hotel's mini fridge and I switch them out as I need them.
So I'm at a little past 3 days post-op! In this blog post I'm going to talk about what I (and my friends) needed to do for post-op care these first three days.
Post-Op Care
The things I need to do are not really that hard...in theory. lol It's a short pretty simple list but you're about to read what it's like to actually carry these things out. lol
Medications -
Pills
I have my pain medication which I take every 4 hours. Then I have antibiotics that I need to take with food 4 times a day for the first 7 days post-op. Luckily, no problems with nausea from the pain meds or diarrhea from the antibiotics which are two symptoms I was told were very possible. The pain meds have however given me some serious constipation. I took over the counter Milk of Magnesia and that helped things along some but it still was not easy. lol Remembering to take the pills I needed a lot of help with the first day because I had such terrible memory from the anesthesia. After that first day I set timers in my phone for when to take my pills but my friends still made sure to remind me, especially about the antibiotic.
Ointments
They asked me to get Bacitracin and apply it to all the stitched areas 3 times a day. I can't even fully see the stitched areas without a mirror so my friend Lauren had to help me with that. I would sort of sit (mostly leaning back) on the edge of my bed and she'd use gloves and apply the medicated ointment to all the areas that have stitches showing. These areas were each testicle and the underside of my penis from the base to the tip. There are stitches up across the incision where the pubic lift was but this area is covered with steri-strips and does not need to have medication placed on it. I was pretty scared about letting her touch my stitches but she went gentle and honestly it didn't hurt at all.
Cleaning -
Mandatory Cleaning (doctors orders)
After I urinate I have to take an UNSCENTED baby wipe and dab the area; no wiping! just dabbing. And because of swelling when I pee urine just goes like everywhere lol (thighs, butt cheeks, all over the testicles and sometimes the top of the toilet seat) so I usually have to wipe my thighs and butt with the baby wipes after dabbing the genital area gently. After any bowl movement I also need to clean it with a baby wipe very carefully not to get any germs on my genital area.
My one a day cleaning I was told to start 24 hours after surgery. So after I was 24 hours post-op we had our first washing. I was very scared of this. lol I was dreading it the whole first day. But it wasn't bad. He wanted me to basically just wash the area with warm antibacterial soapy water. They recommended liquid dial gentle antibacterial soap. They said realistically I probably wasn't going to be able to get off all the dried blood and what not right away and they told me not to worry about that. Basically my friend Lauren took over and cleaned me each time. I really didn't realize how much I was going to need help after surgery and I'm not sure my friends knew what they were in for either. lol I knew they were gonna end up seeing me naked but I didn't realize how up close and personal things were going to get. lol But thank god, Lauren took over because I was too scared to do much down there. Basically I would stand in the shower and she would run the tub water warm, take a cup, fill it with the warm water, add the dial mix it up and make it all sudsy. Then she'd take that water and pour it all over my penis and testicles careful not to get my drain incision wet because that can't get wet at all. So she'd fill the cup a few times with soap and water pouring it over me genital area. Then she'd do it a few times just with warm water to get the soap off and that was it. all done! Nothing to be scared of. But I was scared every single time. lol Then I'd get out of the tub and use a towel to kinda carefully dry my thighs and use a guaze pad to very gently pat try my penis and balls.
Non-Mandatory Cleaning (stuff I did just to not feel gross)
I didn't "need" to do the following things but I did them because they made me feel not so gross. I am unable to shower until the drain is out so I wanted to at least clean up. I bought CVS brand cloths to sponge bathe myself. You throw the whole package in the microwave and it warms them up. You wipe your body down with it and let it dry. It leaves you feeling clean and soft and smelling kind of like baby powder. It's not necessary but honestly they're cheap and it just makes me feel better. Comfort is nice when you're healing.
I also had my friend Kendra wash my hair in the sink on Wednesday. lol We were going out and I didn't want my hair to look greasy so I had her wash it for me. I had to get in a very strange position to get my head in the sink since leaning forward at the waste is hard/painful right now but we managed and I looked nice and felt nice.
Emptying Drain -
There is one drain. I'm pretty sure he only uses a drain on his metoidioplasties if you have a pubic lift which I had therefore I have a drain. The drain is off the right directly on the side of the horizontal incision from the pubic lift. During the first 24 hours post-op the drain needed to be emptied and recorded every 4 hours minimum. You have to do it more often I think if it becomes half full. Mine never became more than half full so Lauren emptied my drain every 4 hours during that first night and day. To empty a drain you basically have to "milk" the tube pushing all of the fluid from the tube into the end receptacle which looks like one of those children's juice's "Teeny Drinks." It's the same type of drain that most top surgeons use. One all the fluid is pushed into the receptacle then you have to squeeze all the fluids/blood into a measuring cup, then you record how much was in there. Lauren did this for me the first two days. Third day (today) I was doing it on my own. After the first 24 hours it only needs to be done twice a day (more if you reach 1/3 full I believe is the rule) but after the first 24 hours I had an extremely small amount of fluid coming out so we've only had to empty it twice a day. By the way, I'm going to my first post-op appointment tomorrow (Friday, 4 days post-op) and my surgeon's nurse is going to check if the drain is ready to come out. Once the drain is out I can technically go home. But I have a really long drive so even if it comes out tomorrow we're not going to leave just yet. If the drain stays in, then I have another appointment Monday and he said by Monday it will definitely be ready to come out. He was pretty confident that it'd be out by Friday though and with such little stuff coming out I'm thinking it will be out by then. That will be super nice because that means I'll be able to take a real shower yay!!!
Ice -
They didn't say it was mandatory but they encouraged it (20 minutes on and 20 minutes off, as often as needed and always make sure there is cloths between the ice pack and the skin) and let me tell you, god it helps so much! I usually hate to use ice packs on any sort of injuries but I'm tell you ice packs have been tremendously amazing. If I'm aching, I put an ice pack on and in a few minutes the pain is gone. Mmmm ice packs! If you have this surgery get lots of soft flexible ice packs. I have two plus one they gave me at the hospital. I keep them in the little freezer of the hotel's mini fridge and I switch them out as I need them.
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